The Drawing End of a Year

 It's another year; come and soon to be gone.

not to be black mirror-ish but something very sinisterly fabricated all of this feels. (i just finished binge-watching the show)

the way most of us feel the same thing, and then it's just its articulation on social media that manifests it and it comes true. 

I read this the other day on Twitter that 'this Monday felt the most Monday-ish' and then when I thought about it did indeed feel that way. as if the feeling had just been evoked and come true. 

like wishing on stars.

does this writing have a mature feel to it? let be in on it in the comments if this is the type of content you'd want for future posts.

I have recently come up with a weird problem.

It's something related to covid. I had the asymptomatic type of it happen to me. my dad had it and then later I got the mild - a week loss of taste

and then came Phantosmia! a repellingly disgusting disease... yes I asked god to give me a disease of sorts to help with my weight loss.. but in this one, I subconsciously cannot eat anything.

everything smells weird and retchy.

heavily focused on onion, garlic, spices.. which if you are an Indian you know these are the things that make up the food... 

for the Jain readers notice spices too... 

also can't have milk, coffee, curd (sometimes), bread, ketchup, roti, halwa, chocolate...

honestly IDK how I am going on at this point tbh!!

I read on YT comment, that it was the 6th month for them and there was no hope out of it. 

though I had a cold in between where my nose was clogged for a day and three months into this thing, I had dal and it tasted heavenly

you never know how much you crave the comfort of little things until they are taken and you cant bring them to use.

after much consultation with friends; read, only one because when he came to deliver my books I had asked him to have ordered at his house (elaborate ploy for book hoarding) we talked near my house gate for nearly an hour and he gave me food options I could eat. and I have made a rice bowl meal out of it!

every day it tastes different, something to do with the amount of salt I put in it that I have started eating daily without boredom setting in.

it is a stir fry of thinly sliced and diced veggies, cooked in vinegar and soy sauce with freshly mashed blanched tomato as the sauce.

it is a tasty and filling meal that gets me going for the night. Although I should probably start having it at around 6 so my skipping lunch does not force me to binge eat delivered junk.

before getting into this complete package of dinner I spent a minimum of 4000 a month on 4 sandwiches and curly fries. ah, that money... gone so soon!!

the realization that Shadow and Bone part 2 will be coming out in 2022 had been bought and read the trilogy and then of course once I began the process of spending money on books I could not stop. so I have consumed a total of 8 books in the last 2 months. that is 8 new books I read in this and the last year.

and I have 5 unread books with me!!

I have recently been binging the hell out of Indian book-tubers. jk, I have been fast-forwarding and cringing at other stuff. like all they read are self-help books! like to each their own but wtf!

there is such awesome stuff to read but they are stuck at this and reading HP books.. and they are buying new box sets!

like, read the room tubers!! (i am now realizing it sounds as if they are test-tube babies)

I see them and I don't see readers I see people finding reading is a leisure activity that can be indulged in and then starting their journey with the worst books they can find.

and the out-of-India YouTubers have way more books than me making my collection and passion feel worthless so I actively try and avoid them. not really i seek them out and watch their bookshelf tours and make myself seem insignificant.

I recently started watching this youtube channel of Riya Gogoi. She started as something of a roaster but not she is doing vlogs of any random shit. Not to draw parallels or have them compete, Riya is Indian Emma. and I love and enjoy watching her as I love and enjoy watching Emma..

my school friend is getting married and in a fit to be invited to her wedding so that I can have my own Bollywood shadi moment and get a guy.. I legit embarrassed myself x10

I called her 10 times thinking she doesn't know it's me.. (like not outright spammed her, just 2 calls at 2 and then 2 at 5 and then 2 at 10 and then the next day too) until my dad made me realize that she probably knows it was me because "TruCaller"

the sheer embarrassment and the apparent thirst I showed

uugh

anyways my dad's still making fun of me and laughing at me because my move was hypocritical. he was doing the same thing with one of his friends who was not picking up his phone and he called him 5 times one after the other and then went the next day to meet and have drinks with him. (he says his was for getting his money back from him! but I have known him for a whole of 22 years who is he fooling!? not this bitch) and I was stopping him and calling him out on his bs while he was still dialling his friends' number!

(he is saying he has broken up with him and will only meet him to taunt and humiliate him into returning the huge sum of money!! but like he has been telling me this since 2019 and nothing concrete has been done!)

I have more stuff to write but this is getting exceedingly long and I want you guys to enjoy this and not skim so I will do a bullet point wrap up of the year next month fingers crossed*

until then Ta and Take Care me Lovelies!