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Comfortable in my skin! But looking for weight loss! Am I a farce?

I love myself.

when I look at the mirror there is nothing I would like to change about how I look but then it's also everything.

it's not one singular thing, it's not like I don't like the shape of my nose, but I still squeeze it in hopes it would become thin, and not one picture of mine in any of my social media is without that perfect angle and the pout, that make my chin and neck look thin.

and don't get started on my hair.. ugh!

there is a solution to all this, I know and that is weight loss. but with the right kind of representation that we now have, I see women of all shapes and sizes be their comfortable and sexy selves.

and also I don't think it would be very me if I lost all that extra weight. I have made myself comfortable around the idea that my outer self is beautiful and I think that's powerful

but I don't feel beautiful when I look at myself in pics I haven't clicked, and with the unnecessary stares at the mirror. I don't have one in my bathroom and I don't think it's because when I go there at night I feel someone will be standing behind me. but I think it's because it saves me from having to look at my crappy face every morning.

and if I did shed a couple of kilos, I'd even have dimples.

but then losing my weight feels like cheating myself. were all those proclamations about myself, that I love me a lie.

but then again I don't really have a choice. 

as someone who suffers from PCOS or PCOD however you might be comfortable in calling it, shedding extra weight is important. and it's not like I am gonna go on a super intense diet and drop a drastic amount of kilos. it's only that up to the mark where my BMI is happy and my PCOS is in control.

This only further sheds a light on why was this post even typed??!

IDEK! but like this has been sitting un-uploaded in my list for months and there is nothing I would change about that except the fact that I still haven't shed those kilos...

but IDK I think thus is life and the only way through is to be living it!!

hopefully the next, and hopefully a sooner post would be light and funny, but considering the predicament, I have been launched into that is highly unpredictable!

but like eh!

so till then, me lovelies stay rad and awesome!.


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